Letting Go
by Twihardatw911
Summary: Rayna is an orphan. Unwanted. When her crush finally starts noticing her, the Courts claim she is a thief. She is left with no choice but to run. She makes a new life somewhere faraway, finding out about her past. She makes new friends, new loves, but can she let go of the old ones? Not really related to Trylle, just reminded me of it. Please review.
1. The Visit

A/N: I posted this story before, FanFiction just took it down. I have no idea why, so just please read and review. Enjoy!

~~~~RaynaPointOfView~~~~

_I'm Bulletproof_  
_Nothing to lose  
Fire Away, Far Away  
Ricochete, take your-_

"Rayna, hurry up! By the time your done, all the hot water will be gone!" Peter's voice broke through my rendition of Titanium by Sia. I sighed dramatically and cranked the knob to off.

"Alright, alright. Don't get your boxers in a twist!"

I heard Peter grumbling to himself as I toweled myself off, being extremely thorough. I tied my white bathrobe around my waist securely, wouldn't want any of the boys to sneak a peek, now would we?

"Finally," Peter said, pushing past me into the bathroom. Peter was the hothead of the orphanage. Let me explain the orphanage.

Miss Laurie's Orphanage for Kids was my home. Probably the closest thing I'd ever get to home, in the dictionary sense of the word. My parents died in a train accident when i was four. My dad's family was gone and my mother's had disowned her. I was left on the streets when Miss Laurie found me, becoming my almost mother. I padded in my slippers to the girls 13-15 dormitory.

"Rayna!" My best friend Cerah ran over to me bearing a slip of paper. "Guess what?" She asked excitedly.

"What?"

"A couple is coming to interview me! They've always wanted to have kids, but the woman is barren," I looked up, shocked at the news. Cerah is leaving?

"They're adopting you?" I asked with a note of disbelief in my voice.

"No," her voice fell an octave at the word, "they just want to come meet me and stuff. I mean, I _know _chances are a million in one that I'll get adopted, but-"

"No, thats great, really," I interrupted her quickly. I didn't want to have a reminder of how weird I was that no would adopt me. "Where's Victoria?"

"Oh, I think Miss Laurie is talking to her in her office about boys," she waved her hand dismissively.

I nodded. Victoria was 16, the oldest here, Once your 16, Miss Laurie can't keep you here because the government wants all girls older than 15 for doves or work or something. Miss Laurie had argued that Victoria was working at the ophanage, but everyone knew the lie behind her words. Victoria was Miss Laurie's second niece or something like that, and she had taken care of her when her Victoria's mother died in childbirth. The father was neevr around. Miss Laurie had begged to the courts, asking if she could have her as her own, but they wouldn't hear of it. All orphans were sent to an orphanage where their fate would be decided. All in all, Victoria had her 'job' here and was allowed to stay. Hallelujah.

"Anyway," Cerah's voice broke my train of thought. "I'll leave you to get dressed. And with that, she pranced away.

I sighed. Only two families had _ever _ come to interview me and they had both turned out as disasters. My emotions were like a roller coaster when waiting for them to arrive. I would spiral out of control and they always saw me as some sort of freak. Now, when couples came to view the children, I shrank into the shadows and became nothing. It was safer knowing my options. Or knowing I had none.

I dug in my drawers for undergarments, yoga pants, and a light pink tanktop. I slipped on some flip flops and tied my hair in a ponytail. Despite the 52 degree weather, I felt humid and beads of sweat were dewing on the back of my neck.

"Rayna," I would recognize that voice anywhere. "Miss Laurie wants to see you."

I turned my head and tried to disguise the growing blush on my cheeks. Eric.

"Huh?" I asked stupidly.

He beckoned me to him. I gladly obeyed and tried not to skip to him. "Rayna," he repeated. I loved it when he said my name. "Miss Laurie wants to see you." By that time, I had regained somewhat of my composure. "Oh, ok." I turned and took a step away but he interrupted him and grabbed my wrist. My heart fluttered and blood flew to my cheeks once more. He blushed as well and I had to surpress a giggle. His hand dropped and I frowned.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Sorry." He turned away and I continued my journey to Miss Laurie's office feeling slightly bouncy.

The door creaked when I opened it and I could hear Miss Laurie talking sounding somewhat annoyed. "No! Rayna would never do such a thing!"

I opened the door noisily tripping over, uh, the floor, announcing my presence.

"Oh," Miss Laurie stood, "Rayna. Please, come in and have a seat." I took the seat closest to Miss Laurie and stared at the floor.

"Rayna, these gentlemen are from the _court,_" she said, emphasizing me to be careful. I looked up and finally acknowledged the two men's presence. Visits from the court weren't uncommon, but they were usually to supervise that Miss Laurie was taking care of us. The court had come last week so I was puzzled to find these two men and especially puzzled to find it had something to do with me.

The court was our government. Ours being Apanin, the country we lived in. Blah blah blah, I'll save you the long history lecture. Basically, we had a court and the colonies. The court was its own "special" colony where all the rich people live. We lived in the 5th colony, the poorest of the poor. If you took an hour walk on the streets everyday for five days, you'd find enough to fill an orphanage. More likely, you'd find corpses finished off from the cold or hunger. Our orphanage was like heaven after a day spent out on the streets. We had three square meals, two snacks, a big backyard, beds for each, clothes, and even clean towels!

"Hello Miss Fiden, I am Rodrick Bulleyard." Fancy name. Typical. I shook his hand politely. "_P__yrkiä__ teemme itsellemme hyötyä." _When a court member met someone new, it was customary to say our motto. _T__o strive we make ourselves useful. _The motto was telling everyone of Apanin to work and make the court's life easier, just fancying it up in Greek.

I repeated the motto out of manner. In return of the member of the court greeting you as such, you said the motto as a gesture of saying, I will obey. He sat down and didn't introduce the man standing next to him. The man was stubby with double chins, and a nervous posture. He held a feather pen and a piece of parchment. I realized he must be a news reporter. What was so important about this meeting that had to be documented?

"These gentlemen have went out of their way to come and ask you a few questions, Rayna," Miss Laurie said stiffly.

"Like an interview?"

"Of sorts."

I sat quietly, waiting for someone to speak. Rodrick cleared his throat and asked for my full name.

I answered, "Rayna Grace Fiden."

He nodded and continued, "How do you spend your freetime?" What an odd interview this is.

"Reading, writing, uhm, gossiping, eating..." My voice trailed off, realizing I'd been smart with a court adminstrator.

He went on like nothing happened. The questions were strange, some even personal, mainly asking about my life. He asked how I was feeling and I stayed silent for so long, he skipped that question.

The last question rendered us all bewildered. "Have you ever stolen?"

"Excuse me?" I asked. "Hasn't everyone?"

He nodded thoughtfully, "I suppose, but I mean something extremely important. Something having to do with the court, maybe."

I stared at him displaying no emotion.

"Just an example," he corrected.

"Well, then, no," I said truthfully. 'No."

Abruptly he stood and said, "I believe we are done here. Thank you for your time." Rodrick, ahem, Mr. Bulleyard shook Miss Laurie's and and walked out the door. And he left Miss Laurie thinking she had a criminal on her hands.

A/N: I really, really want to do something with this, but if no one sees any potential, I get it. Sometimes I don't. But I think this can turn into something. Anyway, REVIEW please. I hoped you liked it and tell me what you think should happen. Because I'm not sure.


	2. On My Own

**A/N: Enjoy!**

Miss Laurie sent me away without another word. She refused to look at me, sparing me one fearful glance.

This is what the Courts do. They destroy your ties, your family, your home. They replace it with mistrust and disbelief. All the years spent building trust and hope came crashing down in less then twenty minutes. All because of the Courts.

I ran down the hallway ignoring the quizzical looks given to me from my equals. Tears were beginning to well up in my eyes and I angrily wiped them away. A warm hand on my shoulder made me halt in my tracks.

"Are you ok?" Eric asked, concerned.

My face crunched up and he pulled me in for a hug. I let out sobs of betrayal and probably ruined one of his good shirts. I pulled away, once realizing this.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I ruined your shirt." I pointed to the damp spot on his shoulder and he laughed. I smiled meekly in return.

"Do you want to go to our spot?" There was a playful glimmer in his eyes as he asked and I answered by running down the stairs. "Cheater!" Eric yelled. I giggled and raced to the cherry tree, the tree farthest from the building.

I heard heavy footsteps sounding behind me and I pressed farther, unwilling to lose. I reached the cherry tree first and threw my hands up in victory. "I win, I win, I win!" I chanted. Eric slowed as he reached me, giving me a humongous grin in return. He held his hands up in defeat, "all right, all right, you win." I jumped in excitement and shouted my chant, louder this time. We collapsed on the floor next to each other to do what we always did.

"I see...a bunny with a baseball cap." Eric pointed to a cloud that looked, honestly, looked like a big blob.

I laughed in response. "You're crazy. That's totally a bumlebee." We both burst out laughing and muttered incoherent words.

"Okay, okay. Whatever. Oh, that one looks like an alien pushing a baby stroller." We continued talking and laughing together, but eventually, things got more serious.

After I made a funny (I thought it was) joke, Eric fell silent. "So," he began. "What happened in Miss Laurie's office?"

I sighed dramatically. "The Court came for a visit," I said pointedly. Eric prompted me for a detailed recount of the unplanned appointment. "The man, I forgot his name, came for a visit and I could hear Miss Laurie arguing with him. He accused me of stealing something, basically. He kept asking me weird questions and then he asked me if I had ever stolen. Like _stolen _stolen."

Eric nodded calmly, "and have you?"

I was taken aback. "Me? No!" I shouted fiercely. "What use would I have for something of the Courts? And anyway, if I _did _steal, they wouldn't have caught me. I'm too good." At that, Eric chuckled. All tense pretenses were gone, replaced with our usual carelessness. The loud bell rang for dinner. I looked away quickly. "Miss Laurie probably hates me."

"Why would she hate you? I mean, yeah, she's pretty gullible, but..." his voice trailed away noticeably. "Never mind, you're so obviously a criminal." I knew this was his way of attempting to lighten the mood, but I obviously felt hated.

Eric took my hand gently and pulled me to my feet. He pulled me so fast we bumped chests. But instead of him pushing me away, his eyes bore into mine. His eyes twinkled with their usual playfullness, but they held a unfamiliar warmth that made me want to melt in my shoes. He leaned closer and I could smell the peppermint treats he loved. He hesitated, to see if I would refuse him. And I didn't.

His lips pressed warmly to me and I could feel blood boiling in my skin. I gasped and clung to him, pushing my lips against his. It only lasted for a moment because we heard a voice break our blissful minute.

"Stop right there! We have you surrounded!"

I broke away and widened my eyes in a panic. "Don't move," Eric whispered. His arms wrapped protectively around me and I gladly pressed myself to him.

"Rayna Grace Fiden, you are wanted by the Courts!" I could hear the advances of my pursuers and felt a rough hand pull me away from Eric. My hands were twisted behind my back painfully and I cried out.

"No! Don't hurt her!" Eric's voice eased some of the pain but I couldn't help the terror that washed over me in waves.

"Stop! What is the meaning of this?" Miss Laurie's call relaxed me, but only minimally. "Unhand my students this instant!"

"But Miss, we have direct orders from the courts-"

"Damn the orders! Unhand my students!" She commanded. Surprisingly, the hands released me and I sighed in relief.

"Rayna!" Eric rushed to me. "Are you okay?" I nodded mutely and bit my lip.

Now that I wasn't twisted into a pretzel, I could see several soldiers of the Courts placed variously throughout the large field of the orphanage. They all held rifles and they were all pointed at our little gathering here. I shuddered at the violence.

A hard shove in my side made me stumble and choke on my spit. "We have to search your room if you won't willingly offer up what you stole." The guard said calmly. I was about to snap and explain I didn't anything when a lightbulb appeared over my head.

"Okay," I slowly said. "I'll give you what you want."

* * *

The guards held both my arms tightly and escorted me to my dormitory. Everyone made a path for us, gaping slightly at the sight. I didn't have what they wanted, heck I had no _idea _what they wanted, but I had a plan.

I always had a backpack stuffed with food for two weeks, water, a knife, a small hoard of money, and a couple keepsakes I couldn't bear to part with hidden in my bottom drawer. _Just in case_, I told Eric when I packed it. Eric's embrace seemed ages ago. I couldn't believe I was about to leave him after that. The thought made a lump swell in my throat and I had to swallow hard.

Love and Life Go On. People always told me that. I never questioned the phrase, accepting there was nothing to move on to. But now, when there was something my heart _wanted _to fight for, I found I had to fight harder than ever. Right now, I had something to go on to.

I was thrown into my room and told to get what I had stolen. My hands shakily opened the drawer and took my backpack out.

"What's in there? Open it!" The guard barked.

I acted like I was going to open it and turned sharply. My knee met with the guard's groin and I elbowed him in the stomach at the same time. I hit the other one on the head with my backpack and he collapsed. Wow. I didn't even know my backpack was that strong.

"Rayna!" Eric's voice sent a sharp pain through my heart. "I'm sorry, Eric! I love you!"

I dashed down the stairs and out the double doors. I looked around and realized the guards had all left. Maybe the odds were actually in my favor today.

The familiar sight of trees pushed me faster. The safe enclosure looked so welcoming, I gladly fell into the forest. But I only had second before I had to start running again.

The guards had realized what was happening and yelled for me to stop. Like Hell.

I ran, ran, ran as fast as my legs depended. This wasn't some childish game, this was Life or Death. I made sharp turns to throw them off my traila dn eventually the sounds of their efforts faded away to nothing. I spotted a hollow tree and started to settle.

I was on my own again.

**A/N: Thanks to AllStoriesRock so do authors for being my first review! Also, thanks to everyone who has started following my story! I'm so happy. I thought this was going nowhere but I'm glad you guys proved me wrong! Please review and show me your predictions and if you want anything to happen, tell me. Kisses!**


	3. Innocent

The pheasant walked back and forth and I aimed my bow. I breathed out, waiting until the pheasant made a fatal move. The bird cocked her head up and I saw my chance. My arrow shot forward and landed squarely in her eye. I mindlessly prepared the pheasant for dinner, skinning and gutting and other grotesque tasks.

I hurriedly made a fire to cook the bird, eating bone by bone. I devoured each edible bite, relishing in the joy of eating. Earlier, I had collected a few types of greens to add to my meal and I gladly ate those as well. My dessert included ripe raspberries.

By the time I had finished, night had fallen and I was left with a feeling of hopeless despair. My eyes watered and I tried to hide them, but from who? No one was around to see me cry.

So I wept.

I wept for my dead father and my dead mother. I cried for the joyous childhood I had missed out on. I cried for Cerah, her ugly past. I cried for Eric, the beautiful boy who should be with his beautiful family. For Miss Laurie burdened with the weight of having no children of her own, instead caring for hundreds that are not hers. For the Court workers, blind as they are. For me, _me, _who should be _happy_ instead of running away from the only home I had ever known.

I curled in a tight ball and cried the remaining body liquid I had. I rocked back and forth, burdened with the sadness I had seen. I had _seen _my own mother and father die. Felt my mother's hand curl around mine but grow cold as I lay upside down in a deserted car. Heard their breathing slow to nothing as their blood seeped out of their failing bodies. Heard my mother whisper her last words to me. _"Be strong," _she had said. Look at me now. Some strong girl I am. I had heard the wailing of the sirens as they rushed to save my parents, not knowing there was nothing to save.

I had seen a handful of children commit suicide from despair. Some had even asked me to help, to participate. I had seen the one girl I had looked up to bleed from the cuts on her wrist she had inflicted on herself. Her eyes grow unfocused, fogged over. Me crying over countless dead bodies. I just hoped I wouldn't have to do it again.

Eventually, I stopped crying. My eyes felt dried and swollen from the tears I had shed. My hands were cold, stiff and frozen. My legs had fallen asleep and I tried to shake them awake. I let out a shaky breath and searched for a cave to take shelter in. I spotted a small one a couple of yards away and hurried over. In there, I made a quick, camouflaged "door" of leaves to cover my shelter with. I made a small fire (thank God) to warm my hands with. I untied my pack and looked inside to make a quick assessment. I had some dried beef jerky, dried fruit, a bag of bread, crackers, even twinkies! I was full, though, and took out the sleeping bag to make my bed.

The fire crackled goodheartedly and I smiled. It offered a comforting feeling of constantity; it was always going to be there, or as long as I needed it. I snuggled in as deep as I could manage and closed my eyes. The sounds, the pain, everything drifted away as I became nothing.

* * *

I woke to the sound of birds chirping in the early light of dawn. I was a wee bit sore, ok, forget the wee part. I was sore, ok? I stretched and groaned. I immediately froze, though, when I realized where I was. I moved slowly, silently, barely breathing. When I decided that I had not been followed and I was not in danger, I started the rounds. The fire had died out in the night, leaving only ash. I stomped on them to make sure it was surely out, then covered it in dirt and leaves.

I packed everything I had used and set out in the woods. I gathered some fruit and greens for emergencies (you never know when you might need them) and munched on a couple of blueberries as breakfast. I stomped in the hiking boots I had grabbed from my closet.

It might seem as if I had done this before, and, in truth, I had. I had indeed runaway from a place I had hated. A previous orphanage. I shuddered just at the thought. The man who had run the orphanage had treated us herrendously. It wasn't until he tried, er, some things, that I decided I had to get away from him. I packed a pack just as this one, with cheese, and set out on a difficult journey. I learned how to ration food and water and use the resources around me.

It wasn't until I was out of water, food, and will that I thought I had given up. I was in a what I thought to be a deserted part of the forest and there was nothing of value to me. I lay there thinking of my parents when Miss Laurie had found me. She had taken me in her care willingly.

I shook my head forcefully. No more of the past. There was only the future. Only now.

I didn't really now where I was headed, I guess. Just away. I frowned. Maybe I should figure a destination. I gathered what I knew of these parts to my brain. The forest went on for a couple of miles, I knew that. I also knew there was a town not too far from here, actually. But I couldn't stop at the town, the Courts would surely find me there.

So that left...the forest. Easy. Achievable. Also extremely unrealistic.

Its not like I could live in the forest for the rest of my life. I would die, surely. Well, I knew that I was falsely accused of _stealing _from the _Courts. _If I could prove my innocence then there was no more hiding. So the only problem was...

How to prove my innocence.


End file.
